a hope in development

23 02 2012

The bud has been opening slowly throughout the week; petal by petal, and the knowledge has been moving between head and heart as the bud begins to bloom. Garden 031

I know I have had a stinking attitude for a while.  I have been seeking any blessings to count up, though some days it has taken a lot to find the blessings.  There have been numerous challenges to face and, I admit, I have been negative. 

The need to paint, be creative, knit, write, draw, blog… to be ME has been gone these last few weeks.  I have struggled with so much – the surroundings, Deon’s situation with work… it has been rough. It seemed like I have been drying up from the roots.  Just like it is terribly dry here in town and the little trees and plants are drooping by ten in the morning, I have felt unstimulated.  The buds were closed up, in a shell of protection (which may not be too bad a thing!).

But botany runs a course.

Today the flower is in full bloom, as the petals have unfurled over the last few days and the revelation is vibrant in its beauty:

Delayed hope makes one sick at heart,
but a fulfilled longing is a tree of life.

(Proverbs 13:12, God’s Word translation.)

We had SO many hopes.  To explore, to invest in hearts, to live our African lives, as we have in other African places.  The reminder comes of the reason for the blog’s title here.  We have been on ONE  good exploring-of-Uganda trip since arriving here, and have only had short moments to look around most of the time.  Our hopes to see and discover have not been realised.  I hoped to get a good programme going with ladies and that hope was shattered by people’s misunderstanding.  Things just all came to a very ugly head this week and a few direction changes have been put into place. The delayed and unfulfilled hopes have made me sick to the heart.

friday 031

The full understanding of having HOPE came to me today:  I was standing on a stool in the kitchen (not a very safe position for me – I am clumsy and accident-prone most days) and despite not finding flour in the can on the top shelf when I needed it, when Deon came in to the kitchen he commented on my smile.  Today, for the first time in a while, I feel I have a tangible hope of dreams fulfilled.

Prov 12:25 says “anxiety in the heart of man causes depression but a good word makes it glad”.

We have been anxious about so much.  But we have had a GOOD WORD, to help us, and made some choices to cause the flower of hope to bloom.

OUR LISSATABA HOME IS NOW IN OUR NAME!  Such great news!  All the paperwork took far longer than it should have and I was anxious… but the good word came today. stoep side

Our dream – a home in the bushveld – no longer deferred but finally real.   A fulfilled longing to bring life and joy.

We are also going to be moving away from this job here.  We don’t know yet where we will go and what we will do.  We need REST first.  It has been a long year and the last few months have not offered much chance for rest – our bodies and emotions are worn.  

But there is HOPE: we know this is the way God is leading and it has been as if God has been directing at the choice to resign with neon arrows, airoplane banners, and pointed fingers it has been that obvious.

 

Prayers for the next step would be appreciated. 

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